as a kid i've always wanted to see a clown, kasi parang ang cute nila seeing them on tv or movies, but then when i got the chance to see a clown i did not felt happy, i even said to myself "hinde naman pala masaya makakita ng clown".. and from there on, i don't want and don't like to go near them and see their faces...

i could bear seeing them from a distance but then sobrang kaba na yung nararamdaman ko nun...i don't know why. feeling ko nga dati ang weird ko, kasi parang yung mga friends ko they like clowns.. and so i thought i could out-grow this feeling.. but then i was wrong..

during college days, my friends would teased me "ano ka ba, ang tanda mo na no takot ka pa sa clown." eh sa takot ako eh anong magagawa nyo.

would you believe, even with ronald mcdonald i can't bear being near him.. promise. one time, a new mcdonald store was opened near our university, little did i know, during that merienda time when we were there nandun si ronald the mascot, i was really feeling nervous and tense seeing him, kasi he's table hopping that time. i did not finished what i was eating and go out from the store and just waited my friends outside...

it was december, i was working na that time, and we went out for lunch, and then there's a new amusement park opened near our office site, and so clowns and dolls-like girls went outside to give brochures, they were walking on the street, into vehicles and into every person they could see.. when i seen them coming toward us, i was kinda avoiding them na, and then one of colleague was pointing at me because they know how i am afraid of clowns, and when i thought he's going to me, i crossed the street.. d bale na mabangga ako... and so i heard the clown saying hesitantly with understanding "ayaw nya eh, takot cya sa clown" .. and i was like thinking to myself, alam din pala nila na may takot sa kanila na kagaya ko. :(

some of my friends would comment, "hay naku, kawawa naman magiging anak mo, hinde makakaranas ng clown sa party!" and i was like oo nga no.. then i would replied back "hay, hayaan mo na, baka kapag nagka-anak ako hinde na uso ang clown!" :P

and when im invited in a children's party my first question would always be "meron bang clowns?"

i really don't know why and where this fear coming from, i haven't had any bad encounter with clowns but then i felt this way towards them..

and then i searched on the internet what is the term for fear of clowns... COULROPHOBIA.

and i realized hinde pala ako nag-iisa, madami rin pala kaming takot sa clown. pero ang nawi-weirduhan pa din ako, kaya lang wala naman ako magagawa, ayaw ko talaga sa clown.